MY JASMINE TEA

I never drink cold tea. I hate it. 

But that night, when I mentioned it was late, and that we needed to go back home, I noticed my tea was frozen. 

I recall I barely drank half of the cup, and I left my Jasmine tea got cold in a couple of hours. I wasn't talking that much; I wasn't busy, and indeed I didn't forget it was there on the table; But, I was so focused trying to read his eyes that I stopped drinking; I stopped breathing, and sometimes I caught myself staring at his right eyebrow and the way he lift it when is explaining something carefully. 

I was really nervous during the entire date, but it wasn't because of him. He talked about himself like he had nothing to prove to anyone, with this refreshing attitude about life, like when someone is just putting his thoughts on the table with no preconceptions and no wearing masks. And his words heard so natural coming from his mouth, and they felt just right. 

I was nervous because I wanted to talk more with him, I had a lot to share about what he was giving and trying to catch from me, but that day was being so odd before he showed up that I wasn't brave enough to open myself better. 

I listened more from his side that night, and I usually do that with every person who appears in my life, I like believing I'm a good listener; I'm pretty sure that every person has something to teach me or give me in thoughts. 

At the end of that night, I went to bed with a smile on my face, a cold Jasmine taste in my lips, and a strange feeling of peace or calm in my heart; I'm not sure what it was, but it felt good. 

I have been thinking about that cold tea almost every night; I liked it, and I'm starting to believe that I like cold tea now.

I WRITE INSTEAD

I'm a good listener; I have a few good friends in my life, and I'm always willing to listen to their stories instead of talking about my self. I enjoy it most of the time, even when I disagree with the stories that they're telling me. 

I have this terrible habit of giving people advice, even though they never asked me in the first place. But sometimes, at the end of a conversation about what they told me and what did advice to them, they thank me. Those times, I think they approach me looking for a different point of view. I have been in any situation when it comes to giving advice. 

One time, a good friend stopped talking to me for a couple of weeks because she was processing what I said to her and because she was a little mad at me. I remember her telling me how she felt regarding my words, and how it took her those days to recover strength and get back to me with an answer. That incident got my feet back to Earth and made me realized that I was nobody to form an opinion about someone's life. I apologized to her, and I learned that sometimes I need to be just the friend, sometimes they only need someone to listen to them with no opinion. 

Even though I enjoy listening, some other times, I want to share things and want someone to hear me. When these days arrive, I think on the right people to do that; my sister is the first to pop on my mind, then my best friend, and then my second best friend. I make the calls, but apparently, everyone is very busy at that moment. 

When I finally made to talk to someone, it seems that they are more focus on what they want to say instead of what I need to share with them. And if I'm lucky and I made someone to listen to me, that person stays quiet until I finish my story so he can continue talking, but no comment, no opinion, no advice for me. 

So I try again and call the next person on the list. But, funny thing, the same happens again, and again. I admit, few times happen that the last person I called, actually listens to me and other few times gives me advice or says something! But are the less. 

It's the same feeling that when everybody else thinks you're strong enough to be sad, to be broke, to cry or even complain about something. But, when someone needs to cry, automatically knows that you're the person for that, and If you say something like: "put yourself together! Problems exist in life! Shit happens! Accept that and deal with it", well, you may be a tough person, an insensitive human been, or even an ununderstanding friend. And you can't cry about anything, because the day you do, everybody looks so disappointed and heartbroken. 

Therefore, when I need someone to listen to me, I write instead. 

Then, I read what I wrote as a third person, and I try to give her advice. 

Sometimes I give her a speech and a few slaps, but yes, it works!