CROSSING FINGERS

I wish I could see you one more time.
I wish I could look at you in the eye for a minute.
I hope this life gives me that gift before I leave this town.
I pray for the day when I can see your beautiful blue eyes again.
I dream about that moment at least three times a day.
I crave being in front of you, face to face, just for one more time.
I have all this desire in my heart, and I wish I could have you here right now.

Oh baby! If only I could see you, only to be able to look at your face and say to you: "Thank you for teach me a lesson. I'm a stronger person."

I am crossing my fingers with all my heart.

TRUST ME

There is a woman beside the closet's door in my bedroom. 

She is staring at me, like if she knew me better than myself. 

She looks mad, heart-broken, and she has this hopeless look in her eyes. 

I think she is mad at me; I think she is disappointed with me. 

She is looking at me as if I could read her mind and if I could know what I did wrong, and I think I know, deeper inside of me. All those things I said I was okay with, she is not. All those behaviours I said I was willing to tolerate, it turns out she's not. 

I know that she is getting older, and sometimes she thinks she would be able to bare anything to have a little happiness in her life; to fulfill her heart. I support her in every thought, any step, and moment of meditation. The problem is I believe her all the time. And when we appear to be in the middle of an uncomfortable situation, she gets mad at me, and she looks at me as if everything was my fault. And maybe it is. 

That woman might be right, but she knows I can't stand mental games, so, if she tells me something, I will believe her, no matter what. If it turns out, she didn't mean it, or she wasn't sure, that is not my fault entirely. 

One of my ugliest defects is that I'm a literal person. If someone tells me I want to meet you at noon tomorrow, well, I understand that he or she wants to see me the next day at noon. I'm so literal that sometimes I cannot understand jokes of those people who laugh first and talk after. 

I think she knows me very well, and she knows all these things about me. I believe this is what she loves about me and what she hates at the same time. 

I want you to know that I'm here for you, and I'm going to protect you from everything and everyone. I know it hurts, I know you felt happy for an instance and then felt crushed. But I will do my best to make you feel better and to heal your heart. Trust me.

FOOLISH ROMANTIC

I'm the kind of person who still believes in true love, passion, and magic. As my horoscope says most all the time, I look like a bitch, but I am not. 

Maybe my face is not communicating how I feel or what I am dreaming about, but inside I am a foolish romantic. 

I'm one of those men and women who still think someone I love is going to knock the door in the middle of the day and kiss me without reason. If someone I fought tells me that he doesn't want to know anything about me, I still think we will have a dramatical reconciliation. Something that will make us cry every time we remember that moment we were mad. 

I'm the kind of woman who if her boyfriend told her that he was to busy today and he won't see her tonight, she is still waiting for him to come at midnight just to give her a kiss before he goes home because he couldn't wait till tomorrow. 

I disagree with the idea that the guy has to do all the job in the flirting. I believe they want to feel desired, wanted, and they need to know, just as women, that we are willing to win them no matter what. And if a woman has the luck to do this with a mature man, it would be just the best experience she can have. 

I think there are lots of men and women craving this romanticism, but we are too scared to be damaged, to be hurt, that we don't dare to try even a little. We think over a thing, over and over again, and we ended up thinking it's a stupid idea. 

I would like to do something exceptional and romantic for someone who I want to be with, and that he doesn't think I'm a psychopath or I'm too desperate for love. I would like someone who I want to be with would do the same for me. 

I remember a brief chapter in my life when a guy who liked me ran out of a party full of people and screamed my name from the door where he was standing. I was almost at the end of the corridor, about 20 meters far away from him and everybody, but he screamed my name so loud for three times and ran over where I was, just to beg me to stay and dance with him. 

Sadly, I didn't come back to the party because my dad had just died a few days before, and I was too sad to be in a party; I was there because it was my job to throw the party for the company I was working for, but I remember that moment as one of the most romantic moments of my life. 

Eventually, we ended up together, and we had a beautiful relationship for a few months. 

Sometimes I think things too much, and because of that, I rarely do what I wanted to do in the first place. But the foolish romantic side of me is in pain, it's sitting in the corner of my shadow heart, crying in silence, staring at the floor, and trying not to hear my thoughts. I imagine that fool as a thin young guy, white, tall, and big dark eyes. He is almost like a draw I made with my pencil on a white piece of paper, and now he cries every time I kill an opportunity of romance in my life. He used to yell at me before, but he doesn't anymore, he just cries. 

I hope he doesn't die. I'm trying to find a way to give him what he needs. It's hard, though. But I promise I will keep trying to save him. My beloved foolish romantic drawn guy.