FOOLISH ROMANTIC

I'm the kind of person who still believes in true love, passion, and magic. As my horoscope says most all the time, I look like a bitch, but I am not. 

Maybe my face is not communicating how I feel or what I am dreaming about, but inside I am a foolish romantic. 

I'm one of those men and women who still think someone I love is going to knock the door in the middle of the day and kiss me without reason. If someone I fought tells me that he doesn't want to know anything about me, I still think we will have a dramatical reconciliation. Something that will make us cry every time we remember that moment we were mad. 

I'm the kind of woman who if her boyfriend told her that he was to busy today and he won't see her tonight, she is still waiting for him to come at midnight just to give her a kiss before he goes home because he couldn't wait till tomorrow. 

I disagree with the idea that the guy has to do all the job in the flirting. I believe they want to feel desired, wanted, and they need to know, just as women, that we are willing to win them no matter what. And if a woman has the luck to do this with a mature man, it would be just the best experience she can have. 

I think there are lots of men and women craving this romanticism, but we are too scared to be damaged, to be hurt, that we don't dare to try even a little. We think over a thing, over and over again, and we ended up thinking it's a stupid idea. 

I would like to do something exceptional and romantic for someone who I want to be with, and that he doesn't think I'm a psychopath or I'm too desperate for love. I would like someone who I want to be with would do the same for me. 

I remember a brief chapter in my life when a guy who liked me ran out of a party full of people and screamed my name from the door where he was standing. I was almost at the end of the corridor, about 20 meters far away from him and everybody, but he screamed my name so loud for three times and ran over where I was, just to beg me to stay and dance with him. 

Sadly, I didn't come back to the party because my dad had just died a few days before, and I was too sad to be in a party; I was there because it was my job to throw the party for the company I was working for, but I remember that moment as one of the most romantic moments of my life. 

Eventually, we ended up together, and we had a beautiful relationship for a few months. 

Sometimes I think things too much, and because of that, I rarely do what I wanted to do in the first place. But the foolish romantic side of me is in pain, it's sitting in the corner of my shadow heart, crying in silence, staring at the floor, and trying not to hear my thoughts. I imagine that fool as a thin young guy, white, tall, and big dark eyes. He is almost like a draw I made with my pencil on a white piece of paper, and now he cries every time I kill an opportunity of romance in my life. He used to yell at me before, but he doesn't anymore, he just cries. 

I hope he doesn't die. I'm trying to find a way to give him what he needs. It's hard, though. But I promise I will keep trying to save him. My beloved foolish romantic drawn guy.